So it is said
That He made man,
And after man he made woman.
It is also said
That in this time of great vulnerability
Woman was the first to succumb.
If you would be my Adam.
I would be your Eve.
And I would let you put the blame on me.
Oh, but the taste of this nectar-
Once its had there is no denying
The power behind it.
Without first understanding
The consequences it brought,
I invited you to follow suit.
If you would be my Adam,
I would be your Eve.
And I would let you put the blame on me.
Since that time we both gaped
At how everything was delicate
And crumbled around us.
The security we once had
Was no longer there
And we felt we had no choice but to run.
If you would be my Adam,
I would be your Eve.
And I would let you put the blame on me.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Word of the day: Lovely.
Today has been one heck of a rollercoaster.
It started off with being at the beach and spending the day in the sun. It was lovely.
Then I came home to a message from my boss saying I was supposed to come in and asking where I was. Not so lovely.
Found out it was the bosses fault, because I requested off and he added me by mistake. Lovely!
Then, I find out that the first installment of rent is due within the next couple weeks that I didn't have. Not so lovely.
But, in the middle of my freak out session about work and money, I stumbled across an online writing program- one of those "work from home" things. Not only could it possibly help me with getting extra money, but many people have recommended it in order to start up a free-lance writing career. Which, of course, sounded lovely!
I am hoping to get a jump start on this tomorrow and see if this is worthwhile. It would also be really lovely during the school year so that I wouldn't have to worry about not having a car. I need prayers and crossed fingers about this. This could help me out in more than one area of life!!!
~Bridget Nicole
It started off with being at the beach and spending the day in the sun. It was lovely.
Then I came home to a message from my boss saying I was supposed to come in and asking where I was. Not so lovely.
Found out it was the bosses fault, because I requested off and he added me by mistake. Lovely!
Then, I find out that the first installment of rent is due within the next couple weeks that I didn't have. Not so lovely.
But, in the middle of my freak out session about work and money, I stumbled across an online writing program- one of those "work from home" things. Not only could it possibly help me with getting extra money, but many people have recommended it in order to start up a free-lance writing career. Which, of course, sounded lovely!
I am hoping to get a jump start on this tomorrow and see if this is worthwhile. It would also be really lovely during the school year so that I wouldn't have to worry about not having a car. I need prayers and crossed fingers about this. This could help me out in more than one area of life!!!
~Bridget Nicole
Friday, June 24, 2011
Our CD
I walked into the studio and welcomed the goosebumps when the air conditioning gave me a chill. I would need the cool air once I got done in here. I walked over to the stereo and put in our CD.
The first song was slow and sang about taking the leap that we were all scared to lose. I sat on the floor and stretched as I wondered how long I was going to feel that way. I could feel my muscles fighting the movement and the cold floor, but through free will I made them lay flat on the cold service in order to be shaped and molded.
The next song had a fast pace. He sang about confusion and needing to get it right, not having the words to say. I jumped and leaped and flew until my knees limbered. I didn't need to have words when I was in my studio. I moved my body and watched my message in the mirror.
The next was the song that we danced to the night we met. This song would forever be known as the red dress song.
I put on my tap shoes and found my way to the floor just in time for our favorite rock song. I loved the satisfying feeling of the metal hitting the ground and being able to produce any sound you wanted. I stomped and flitted to the beat.
The next song always made me slow down. I switched out my shoes and put on my lyrical shoes. They were so worn that it would be time for new ones soon. As I reached and twirled and contorted myself in ways that I couldn't keep up with, I got lost in the music. That's when I heard the door open.
You walked in with a single flower. I stopped instantly and ran to the stereo to turn it off.
"Were you just dancing to our CD?" you smirked and you slowly moved closer to me.
I felt my face getting hot. "You caught me," I managed as I tried to catch my breath.
"How often do you do this?" you asked me as you stopped one foot away from me.
"I have been doing it every day... for the past year." I couldn't stand to look at you so I walked toward my bag to grab my bottle of water. When I stood up again you were right behind me.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look when you lose yourself in your dancing?" Before I had the chance to say anything or protest, you handed me the flower. I looked at it and realized it was a lily. I looked back up at you. "I hadn't forgotten that lilies were your favorite, and I certainly didn't forget your promise to me. You told me you needed a year to yourself. You might have been hoping I would walk away, but I am not giving up on you that easy."
You pulled me closer to you and before I fully understood what we were doing, I looked in the mirror and saw we were slow dancing. Never in my life had I felt such confusion, happiness, and... closure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
The first song was slow and sang about taking the leap that we were all scared to lose. I sat on the floor and stretched as I wondered how long I was going to feel that way. I could feel my muscles fighting the movement and the cold floor, but through free will I made them lay flat on the cold service in order to be shaped and molded.
The next song had a fast pace. He sang about confusion and needing to get it right, not having the words to say. I jumped and leaped and flew until my knees limbered. I didn't need to have words when I was in my studio. I moved my body and watched my message in the mirror.
The next was the song that we danced to the night we met. This song would forever be known as the red dress song.
I put on my tap shoes and found my way to the floor just in time for our favorite rock song. I loved the satisfying feeling of the metal hitting the ground and being able to produce any sound you wanted. I stomped and flitted to the beat.
The next song always made me slow down. I switched out my shoes and put on my lyrical shoes. They were so worn that it would be time for new ones soon. As I reached and twirled and contorted myself in ways that I couldn't keep up with, I got lost in the music. That's when I heard the door open.
You walked in with a single flower. I stopped instantly and ran to the stereo to turn it off.
"Were you just dancing to our CD?" you smirked and you slowly moved closer to me.
I felt my face getting hot. "You caught me," I managed as I tried to catch my breath.
"How often do you do this?" you asked me as you stopped one foot away from me.
"I have been doing it every day... for the past year." I couldn't stand to look at you so I walked toward my bag to grab my bottle of water. When I stood up again you were right behind me.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look when you lose yourself in your dancing?" Before I had the chance to say anything or protest, you handed me the flower. I looked at it and realized it was a lily. I looked back up at you. "I hadn't forgotten that lilies were your favorite, and I certainly didn't forget your promise to me. You told me you needed a year to yourself. You might have been hoping I would walk away, but I am not giving up on you that easy."
You pulled me closer to you and before I fully understood what we were doing, I looked in the mirror and saw we were slow dancing. Never in my life had I felt such confusion, happiness, and... closure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
Return to Sender
The alarm went off and my eyes popped open. The sound was like a drill to the temple; I reached over and shut it off. I sat up in bed and felt like gravity was working against me. Then, I began to dig the palm of my hands into my eyes, almost as if to get the dreams to leave my vision. I throw back the covers and shuffle to the bathroom.
I look in the mirror and see nothing more than the compilation of a few restless nights of sleep. The bags under my eyes give me away.
I shuffle to the kitchen in order to make some coffee. It's been the only thing getting me through the day. I look out the kitchen window and see that it is pouring rain outside. I see every individual rain drop as they fall from the sky. They all go to the ground. It was as if they all spoke to me "go back to bed". The sky is crying for you, your work is not needed here.
I sit at the table and try to clear my head. What was it the therapist said? "Think of things to be thankful for. Do things that make you happy."
I looked out the window. "I guess this means I won't have to water the plants today." I looked out the window and realized I couldn't find comfort in much else. Why don't I just go back to bed?
I finished the last of my coffee and willed myself to stand. After what seemed like a two hour bath, I came back to the kitchen and did the only thing I could imagine doing.
I wrote you the letter that I wrote you every day, and put it on the growing pile of letters with no address.
I look in the mirror and see nothing more than the compilation of a few restless nights of sleep. The bags under my eyes give me away.
I shuffle to the kitchen in order to make some coffee. It's been the only thing getting me through the day. I look out the kitchen window and see that it is pouring rain outside. I see every individual rain drop as they fall from the sky. They all go to the ground. It was as if they all spoke to me "go back to bed". The sky is crying for you, your work is not needed here.
I sit at the table and try to clear my head. What was it the therapist said? "Think of things to be thankful for. Do things that make you happy."
I looked out the window. "I guess this means I won't have to water the plants today." I looked out the window and realized I couldn't find comfort in much else. Why don't I just go back to bed?
I finished the last of my coffee and willed myself to stand. After what seemed like a two hour bath, I came back to the kitchen and did the only thing I could imagine doing.
I wrote you the letter that I wrote you every day, and put it on the growing pile of letters with no address.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Habits
I couldn't help it, you were becoming the worst sort of habit to me. I would see your name pop up and I would feel a sort of temporary relief. It was never enough.
I had to remind myself that we hadn't talked in weeks. It seemed like we talked every day, with the way I thought about you and went over past conversations in my mind. On special occasions, I even practiced out things that I wanted to say to you whenever the time is right. If I didn't practice, I didn't get it right. I knew you would see me as another girl you reeled in and worked your magic with. I was determined to stand out. I was going to be the right mix of everything. Outgoing, but cool. Talkative, but coy. Attractive, but humble.
I went through pictures of you and imagined you in those places. In some of them you were smiling, and I imagined that someone had told you a joke- instead of it being posed. I liked to imagine you were spontaneous. Some of them you seemed more distant. I could see where the shine wasn't in your eyes- the one that you get when you're onto something. You hid behind a veil when you were thinking and needed to process. I looked at your face and remembered every line and dimple. I couldn't help but let my gaze fall on your eyes. You didn't believe me when I claimed they were beautiful.
I looked down at my fingertips. They kept calling me to say something to you. Begging to bridge the gap. Give in to the temptation to be the first to say something. Say everything to him that had been on your mind. Like old times.
I looked up and saw that your name was no longer there. Another day passes and the silence grows longer. Some habits die hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
I had to remind myself that we hadn't talked in weeks. It seemed like we talked every day, with the way I thought about you and went over past conversations in my mind. On special occasions, I even practiced out things that I wanted to say to you whenever the time is right. If I didn't practice, I didn't get it right. I knew you would see me as another girl you reeled in and worked your magic with. I was determined to stand out. I was going to be the right mix of everything. Outgoing, but cool. Talkative, but coy. Attractive, but humble.
I went through pictures of you and imagined you in those places. In some of them you were smiling, and I imagined that someone had told you a joke- instead of it being posed. I liked to imagine you were spontaneous. Some of them you seemed more distant. I could see where the shine wasn't in your eyes- the one that you get when you're onto something. You hid behind a veil when you were thinking and needed to process. I looked at your face and remembered every line and dimple. I couldn't help but let my gaze fall on your eyes. You didn't believe me when I claimed they were beautiful.
I looked down at my fingertips. They kept calling me to say something to you. Begging to bridge the gap. Give in to the temptation to be the first to say something. Say everything to him that had been on your mind. Like old times.
I looked up and saw that your name was no longer there. Another day passes and the silence grows longer. Some habits die hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
Settling In
It's been a while since we moved, and there has been a lot going on. For one, I got two jobs. They have both been pretty interesting in their own ways. I have been working on my novel quite a bit and making a ton of progress. Yay! Ok, so I am tackling some of these thoughts individually.
Job #1 is with a restaurant not even two minutes driving distance from our house. It's called Eddie Ryans, and its a small privately owned place that is Irish themed. Its got all the classics from fish fries to pot roasts and everything inside it is green. Except from our uniforms. They are white with this weird little washed out blue stripe thing down the side... they kinda look like bowling shirts. Anyway. I for the most part have been working breakfasts there on the weekends because they only need one person on and I don't mind handling the slower shifts. Occasionally I also get an evening shift or two, but I have found that I prefer breakfast. It's been stressful at times because I have never been a sever before and they tend to throw people into situations without really preparing them. We had a meeting not too long ago because he didn't like how the servers were doing, but half of us were new and never properly trained. So, that was pretty interesting. Also, there is a minimal staff there so asking off is close to impossible.
Job #2 is with McDonalds. I gotta say, they have the most unflattering uniforms there. Not only does your butt look like it sags down to your ankles, but they make you wear hats. I don't think I have ever looked good in hats. Uniforms aside though, I like the way McDonalds trains. Its boring to begin with. They have you watch a bunch of videos on a computer screen and take little tests to make sure you got through everything. Then, they have you work in your area, basically shadowing someone. This is after you get a thorough tour of the building. Then, you work at your station with someone following you, to make sure that you're doing thing correctly and can answer questions that come up. Its pretty fast paced so your shifts never seem to last very long, which I like, because I don't want to feel like I am spending the entire day at work.
I am not sure which one I really like more because there are perks to each. But, I have realized that I am not going to get my car anytime soon. There just isn't any way that I am going to be able to save up enough in time, unless I manage to score an awesome job while I am at school. I am hoping to save up, but I don't know when I will actually have enough for the down payment plus all the extra stuff like insurance and payments. I am going to be looking into used cars but the same thing will probably apply for a while.
In a different area of life, I have been working on Savannah like there is no tomorrow. I printed out a hard copy of it. I managed to run out of black ink in the process, so I had to switch to blue ink part way through. (Doesn't matter much since no one else besides me will see it, right? ;) ) I have edited about eighty pages so far and hope to have 100 done by the end of the week. I still have a lot to do to it before I am able to send it in, but I am thinking that process will probably happen during the school year. I will be so excited to see the finished product!
One thing that has been weighing on my mind more and more though has been what I want to do as far as my living situation. So many people have asked me "Will you be coming back here once you are done with schooling?" And I mean the answer for right now is yes, but that is mostly because I already have somewhere to live here. But if I really could do whatever I wanted, I could move somewhere totally new. How open should I be to working in a new area? This would all have to wait until I am a bit more financially stable and have a car (that always helps, right?) but its something to consider. The endless list of possibilities is really becoming more apparent to me as I think about how many different places I could be living in. I gotta keep my eyes open for different type job listings that I would be interested in, because finding the job that I want/need is going to be number one priority. Unless I can get a contract for my writing, of course ;)
And in other news: I have begun to drink coffee on a regular basis. Its pretty ironic that I never did while I was in school, even though college students are supposed to live off coffee. I guess its all the breakfast shifts and needing to be wide awake. And, on top of that, I have only been needing to sleep for about eight hours a day. Technically its all I have ever "needed" to get in one night, but I normally still would feel tired and insist on sleeping longer. Lately though, I can't seem to keep myself asleep for longer than eight, maybe nine hours. Its all good though. I forgot what it was like to have most of the day to yourself. Its pretty good for being productive.
I will end my essay of a post here. Although, you may see some more fiction writings relatively soon, possibly even a poem or two. :)
~Bridget Nicole
Job #1 is with a restaurant not even two minutes driving distance from our house. It's called Eddie Ryans, and its a small privately owned place that is Irish themed. Its got all the classics from fish fries to pot roasts and everything inside it is green. Except from our uniforms. They are white with this weird little washed out blue stripe thing down the side... they kinda look like bowling shirts. Anyway. I for the most part have been working breakfasts there on the weekends because they only need one person on and I don't mind handling the slower shifts. Occasionally I also get an evening shift or two, but I have found that I prefer breakfast. It's been stressful at times because I have never been a sever before and they tend to throw people into situations without really preparing them. We had a meeting not too long ago because he didn't like how the servers were doing, but half of us were new and never properly trained. So, that was pretty interesting. Also, there is a minimal staff there so asking off is close to impossible.
Job #2 is with McDonalds. I gotta say, they have the most unflattering uniforms there. Not only does your butt look like it sags down to your ankles, but they make you wear hats. I don't think I have ever looked good in hats. Uniforms aside though, I like the way McDonalds trains. Its boring to begin with. They have you watch a bunch of videos on a computer screen and take little tests to make sure you got through everything. Then, they have you work in your area, basically shadowing someone. This is after you get a thorough tour of the building. Then, you work at your station with someone following you, to make sure that you're doing thing correctly and can answer questions that come up. Its pretty fast paced so your shifts never seem to last very long, which I like, because I don't want to feel like I am spending the entire day at work.
I am not sure which one I really like more because there are perks to each. But, I have realized that I am not going to get my car anytime soon. There just isn't any way that I am going to be able to save up enough in time, unless I manage to score an awesome job while I am at school. I am hoping to save up, but I don't know when I will actually have enough for the down payment plus all the extra stuff like insurance and payments. I am going to be looking into used cars but the same thing will probably apply for a while.
In a different area of life, I have been working on Savannah like there is no tomorrow. I printed out a hard copy of it. I managed to run out of black ink in the process, so I had to switch to blue ink part way through. (Doesn't matter much since no one else besides me will see it, right? ;) ) I have edited about eighty pages so far and hope to have 100 done by the end of the week. I still have a lot to do to it before I am able to send it in, but I am thinking that process will probably happen during the school year. I will be so excited to see the finished product!
One thing that has been weighing on my mind more and more though has been what I want to do as far as my living situation. So many people have asked me "Will you be coming back here once you are done with schooling?" And I mean the answer for right now is yes, but that is mostly because I already have somewhere to live here. But if I really could do whatever I wanted, I could move somewhere totally new. How open should I be to working in a new area? This would all have to wait until I am a bit more financially stable and have a car (that always helps, right?) but its something to consider. The endless list of possibilities is really becoming more apparent to me as I think about how many different places I could be living in. I gotta keep my eyes open for different type job listings that I would be interested in, because finding the job that I want/need is going to be number one priority. Unless I can get a contract for my writing, of course ;)
And in other news: I have begun to drink coffee on a regular basis. Its pretty ironic that I never did while I was in school, even though college students are supposed to live off coffee. I guess its all the breakfast shifts and needing to be wide awake. And, on top of that, I have only been needing to sleep for about eight hours a day. Technically its all I have ever "needed" to get in one night, but I normally still would feel tired and insist on sleeping longer. Lately though, I can't seem to keep myself asleep for longer than eight, maybe nine hours. Its all good though. I forgot what it was like to have most of the day to yourself. Its pretty good for being productive.
I will end my essay of a post here. Although, you may see some more fiction writings relatively soon, possibly even a poem or two. :)
~Bridget Nicole
Thursday, May 26, 2011
If you have heard the song "Come Round Soon" by Sara Bareilles, you'll get it.
The room was dark and the moonlight was shining through the window. The beams hit the keys like a spotlight and I lit up a cigarette. I swiped my fingers across the keys and listened to the music as is yelled out a cry of musical despair. I smiled as the rain started to fall. My fingers pranced to mimic the thunder. Living alone had its perks sometimes. My foot pumped while my fingers danced. I paused only to blow out some smoke and watch it swirl above my head.
Sometimes you had to watch out for yourself. Sometimes you had to live alone and not answer the door. Sometimes you have to light another cigarette and hope you don't get addicted just yet. And then sometimes you had to admit to yourself that maybe you missed them.
There was a hunger as I continued to pump music out the piano. Through my music I was going to send a message, even though there was no way he could hear me. I wanted things to be different and I really thought that they would be. I definitely had my guard up but I wanted him to sweep me off my feet and show me things had gotten better. I keep playing my music in the hopes that you would follow it to me. And that when you got here it would be as if nothing ever happened.
I lit up another one and decided not to care if I added another addiction to the list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you haven't heard the song before:
~Bridget Nicole
Sometimes you had to watch out for yourself. Sometimes you had to live alone and not answer the door. Sometimes you have to light another cigarette and hope you don't get addicted just yet. And then sometimes you had to admit to yourself that maybe you missed them.
There was a hunger as I continued to pump music out the piano. Through my music I was going to send a message, even though there was no way he could hear me. I wanted things to be different and I really thought that they would be. I definitely had my guard up but I wanted him to sweep me off my feet and show me things had gotten better. I keep playing my music in the hopes that you would follow it to me. And that when you got here it would be as if nothing ever happened.
I lit up another one and decided not to care if I added another addiction to the list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you haven't heard the song before:
~Bridget Nicole
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Luck/Smoke shell
"If you step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back." The superstition kept replaying in my mind due to all the cracks in the sidewalk. I couldn't help but wonder if something like that could happen. There wasn't any scientific way for something like this to happen, but I kept my feet away from them, just in case.
I thought of the other superstitions that people commonly referred to- breaking a mirror causes the person who broke it bad luck; Friday the 13th is unlucky; walking under a ladder gives the person bad luck; its bad luck to sing sing or sleep at the dining room table. I cringed because I knew I had done all these things at one time or another. But did it explain why all these things kept happening to me?
The logical side of me kept yelling "of course not! They don't mean anything!" but another, more open-minded part of me had to wonder. Never in my life had I felt that things were so out of control and that someone else held my fate in their hands. First, I got pregnant my senior year. Then, he left me. Then, I finally made the decision the next day to keep the baby. A week later, I had a miscarriage.
"Should have carried a horse shoe I guess," I mumbled to myself as I reached my house. I was about to put my key into the door when I heard someone pull into my driveway. I turned around and saw him get out.
My heart plummeted to the floor when I saw him playing with the white rabbit's foot that he kept on his key chain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a lot of strength, used to have no problem smiling. I was completely care-free. In fact, that was one of the things you liked best about me, because my giggles were contagious.
Imagine, if you will, a ball that has many layers to it. I was solid. Without my realizing it, every day that was spent with you, a small piece of a layer was chipped away. And then another, and another. You told me I wasn't good enough and that I needed to change. So I did. And another piece chipped away. Then another, and another.
Now there is only a thin layer left, holding everything in. That thin layer? It has a few holes in it. If you look closely you can see past the front and notice the emptiness inside. Will you love me tomorrow? I now understand the hesitation- because my tomorrow there won't be anything left. I will soon become a statistic.
Imagine, if you will, a puff of smoke. Its soft and barely contained. Luckily, this puff of smoke was carried away by the winds of change. This little puff of smoke is going to grow its layers back so that someone else can adore my giggles and care-free nature.
I thought of the other superstitions that people commonly referred to- breaking a mirror causes the person who broke it bad luck; Friday the 13th is unlucky; walking under a ladder gives the person bad luck; its bad luck to sing sing or sleep at the dining room table. I cringed because I knew I had done all these things at one time or another. But did it explain why all these things kept happening to me?
The logical side of me kept yelling "of course not! They don't mean anything!" but another, more open-minded part of me had to wonder. Never in my life had I felt that things were so out of control and that someone else held my fate in their hands. First, I got pregnant my senior year. Then, he left me. Then, I finally made the decision the next day to keep the baby. A week later, I had a miscarriage.
"Should have carried a horse shoe I guess," I mumbled to myself as I reached my house. I was about to put my key into the door when I heard someone pull into my driveway. I turned around and saw him get out.
My heart plummeted to the floor when I saw him playing with the white rabbit's foot that he kept on his key chain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a lot of strength, used to have no problem smiling. I was completely care-free. In fact, that was one of the things you liked best about me, because my giggles were contagious.
Imagine, if you will, a ball that has many layers to it. I was solid. Without my realizing it, every day that was spent with you, a small piece of a layer was chipped away. And then another, and another. You told me I wasn't good enough and that I needed to change. So I did. And another piece chipped away. Then another, and another.
Now there is only a thin layer left, holding everything in. That thin layer? It has a few holes in it. If you look closely you can see past the front and notice the emptiness inside. Will you love me tomorrow? I now understand the hesitation- because my tomorrow there won't be anything left. I will soon become a statistic.
Imagine, if you will, a puff of smoke. Its soft and barely contained. Luckily, this puff of smoke was carried away by the winds of change. This little puff of smoke is going to grow its layers back so that someone else can adore my giggles and care-free nature.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Delays and Snowflakes
On a random note: I have been watching an insane amount of Castle lately. Why? Because its AWESOME. You should watch it too. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snowflakes:
There is enough stillness that it feels like time stands still. There are no words to break the silence, its as if our minds create nothing new. I am able to take in the feel of the car- the way that the seat gives in to my weight, the coolness of the window, which is half frosted over. I brush my pinky along the pane in order to stimulate any sort of feeling. I measure out how often there is a bump in the road, which comes quicker on the highway. You always drive on the highways when you need to clear your mind. I dare not speak- I know that you don't want to hear the thoughts I have recently thought. They would only make us fight again. I cringe at the thought of raising our voices. Not just because they are unpleasant, but because they are gateways. Things that were so called settled in the past come back up and are used as brand new weapons.
I look out the window and sigh. You spare me a quick glance before taking an exit- and I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu. You find a small restaurant and you park.
"Nothing has changed, has it?" you studied you fingernails, attempting to look nonchalant.
"What do you expect? You put me in a corner and expect me to go somewhere." I lit up a cigarette and rolled the window down an inch. I had been smoking close to two packs a day- it gets worse with the stress. I couldn't help but feel like I was walking on eggshells.
"It's really not like that, babe," you started. I rolled my eyes; you know I hate it when you call me babe. You know I thought it was demeaning and sexist. "We have to put effort in it if we're going to make this work," you said as you yanked the cigarette out of my hand with such force that I jumped.
A shiver went down my spine because I recognized the tone in your voice.
Two years ago. You came home drunk, had a bad day at work. All I did was ask you how everything went. "I don't want to talk about it!" you said as you slammed his bedroom door shut. After a moment's consideration, I got up and walked over to your room and opened up the door and the next thing I knew I was seeing stars. When I came to, I had white-hot pain coming from my right eye. I shakily got up and looked in the mirror to find that my eyelids were already beginning to swell. You were no where in sight.
I looked out the window and went quiet. "I want to make this work," I heard you say. "I love you too much to let you go."
The snow began to fall outside once more and I thought about snowflakes. From a distance, to an outsider, they all look alike. But when you look closer, they all have different shapes, sizes, designs, consequences... and scars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snowflakes:
There is enough stillness that it feels like time stands still. There are no words to break the silence, its as if our minds create nothing new. I am able to take in the feel of the car- the way that the seat gives in to my weight, the coolness of the window, which is half frosted over. I brush my pinky along the pane in order to stimulate any sort of feeling. I measure out how often there is a bump in the road, which comes quicker on the highway. You always drive on the highways when you need to clear your mind. I dare not speak- I know that you don't want to hear the thoughts I have recently thought. They would only make us fight again. I cringe at the thought of raising our voices. Not just because they are unpleasant, but because they are gateways. Things that were so called settled in the past come back up and are used as brand new weapons.
I look out the window and sigh. You spare me a quick glance before taking an exit- and I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu. You find a small restaurant and you park.
"Nothing has changed, has it?" you studied you fingernails, attempting to look nonchalant.
"What do you expect? You put me in a corner and expect me to go somewhere." I lit up a cigarette and rolled the window down an inch. I had been smoking close to two packs a day- it gets worse with the stress. I couldn't help but feel like I was walking on eggshells.
"It's really not like that, babe," you started. I rolled my eyes; you know I hate it when you call me babe. You know I thought it was demeaning and sexist. "We have to put effort in it if we're going to make this work," you said as you yanked the cigarette out of my hand with such force that I jumped.
A shiver went down my spine because I recognized the tone in your voice.
Two years ago. You came home drunk, had a bad day at work. All I did was ask you how everything went. "I don't want to talk about it!" you said as you slammed his bedroom door shut. After a moment's consideration, I got up and walked over to your room and opened up the door and the next thing I knew I was seeing stars. When I came to, I had white-hot pain coming from my right eye. I shakily got up and looked in the mirror to find that my eyelids were already beginning to swell. You were no where in sight.
I looked out the window and went quiet. "I want to make this work," I heard you say. "I love you too much to let you go."
The snow began to fall outside once more and I thought about snowflakes. From a distance, to an outsider, they all look alike. But when you look closer, they all have different shapes, sizes, designs, consequences... and scars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Bridget Nicole
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
There was a creative title here, but the Keebler Elves stole it...
This always happens to me: song catchy, up beat song with horrible, horrible, lyrics gets stuck in my head. For example, S&M by Rihanna has been stuck in my head all day. And for those of you who don't know, it has lyrics such as "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me." Pretty bad right? Well without thinking I just start singing it out loud and start getting weird looks...
Outside of this horrible song being stuck in my head all because I heard it once a couple days ago, I have been pretty excited. In less tan 72 hours, I will be in NY. Wooooooo!
I have decided to share with you another fun song to get stuck in your head, assuming you don't know of it already.
I give you the lyrics because you need to hear all of it :)
~Bridget Nicole
Outside of this horrible song being stuck in my head all because I heard it once a couple days ago, I have been pretty excited. In less tan 72 hours, I will be in NY. Wooooooo!
I have decided to share with you another fun song to get stuck in your head, assuming you don't know of it already.
I give you the lyrics because you need to hear all of it :)
~Bridget Nicole
Monday, May 9, 2011
Day 478
You probably didn't realize how often you toyed with your necklace. But I noticed. It brought a subtle attention to the gentle curve of your neck. Had he noticed this habit when he first met you? If not, he surely noticed the smell of your freshly applied perfume. Did he pick it out for you? The overwhelming scent of Jasmine surely wasn't your choice. I was sure I knew you better than that.
I look around the room while you strike up meaningless conversation. Something about the weather and about how they never could quite get it right. I'm sure I responded with something resembling witty, you humored me with a chuckle. Why did we bother to foster this relationship? Did he ask you to?
Lance's death happened exactly 478 days ago. I knew, because I had been counting. We all counted- we didn't want to admit to counting, but we all did in some way. You seemed nervous, like you were running out of things to say. You always have been like popcorn- they tell you to take the bag out of the microwave when you hear longer pauses in between pops. I knew to make up an excuse to head out whenever the awkward silences between us got to be longer, and got to be too much.
I would grab my coat and you would walk me to the door, as if I had forgotten where it was. I can slowly feel the relief rolling off my shoulders.
"Should I expect you next Saturday?" the lonely lady asked from the doorway.
"As always," I said with a smile that hurt my cheeks. Next Saturday would be day 485 and nothing will have changed by then. You wont be any closer to being over him by then. Did he ask that of you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: This whole thing is fictitious- don't read into it. Just, enjoy :)
~Bridget Nicole
I look around the room while you strike up meaningless conversation. Something about the weather and about how they never could quite get it right. I'm sure I responded with something resembling witty, you humored me with a chuckle. Why did we bother to foster this relationship? Did he ask you to?
Lance's death happened exactly 478 days ago. I knew, because I had been counting. We all counted- we didn't want to admit to counting, but we all did in some way. You seemed nervous, like you were running out of things to say. You always have been like popcorn- they tell you to take the bag out of the microwave when you hear longer pauses in between pops. I knew to make up an excuse to head out whenever the awkward silences between us got to be longer, and got to be too much.
I would grab my coat and you would walk me to the door, as if I had forgotten where it was. I can slowly feel the relief rolling off my shoulders.
"Should I expect you next Saturday?" the lonely lady asked from the doorway.
"As always," I said with a smile that hurt my cheeks. Next Saturday would be day 485 and nothing will have changed by then. You wont be any closer to being over him by then. Did he ask that of you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: This whole thing is fictitious- don't read into it. Just, enjoy :)
~Bridget Nicole
I can't be called eccentric until I'm rich. I'm just crazy for now.
Have you ever noticed you can't force yourself to say something original?
Ok, maybe you can, but it won't sound very good. It won't get you in a textbook or someones diary.
You just have to let the words come out at candid moments.
Which can only be done if you don't censor yourself and don't hold back what you're thinking.
So the next time someone asks me why I am so open and random with people, I will say "I am trying to be a part of your diary entry tonight."
When they look at me with confusion, I will just wink and continue on like they never asked.
Ok, maybe you can, but it won't sound very good. It won't get you in a textbook or someones diary.
You just have to let the words come out at candid moments.
Which can only be done if you don't censor yourself and don't hold back what you're thinking.
So the next time someone asks me why I am so open and random with people, I will say "I am trying to be a part of your diary entry tonight."
When they look at me with confusion, I will just wink and continue on like they never asked.
Love and Faith
It's funny- all I seem to want to do is write lately. Literally: this track of thought is keeping me from going to bed. May as well get it down for others to give their opinion on.
I had been thinking for a bit about how people handle their faith. We all know the type of believer where they can rattle off any verse of the Bible and can completely quote whole paragraphs, so on and so forth. But really... isn't that only, like, 10% of it? Don't get me wrong, I still plan on reading the Bible and studying what it has to teach me. But how important is that part? Hear me out for a second, here:
Example. There have been many, many, studies done on love. There are a million definitions that people can give on what love really means, or what it is to be in love. Can you see love? No. You can see people acting out of love, but love itself is not visible. One can study all they want about what someone feels when they are in love. What hormones and neurotransmitters are released when people feel things associated with love. But all the studying in the world doesn't compare to actually feeling love for someone else. You can't understand it until you go ahead and feel it. Simply put, nothing compares. There is no fully accurate way to describe what someone feels when they first realize that they completely adore every little thing about someone else and that there is no other person on this planet that they would rather spend their time thinking about. There is no perfect way to sum up what it feels like to know that you could spend the rest of your life with one single person and never look back. Which is why people search so desperately for it- it's such an amazing thing.
Relate all this back to Faith. People have tried to scientifically pinpoint how humans handle Faith. They have tried labeling certain parts of the brain that help humans process what they call to be a belief in a higher deity. People read the Bible in order to learn what Jesus wanted us to know and memorize it so that they can defend their beliefs and not forget anything they would need to know from it that could be valuable. While the Bible is a great tool in following Jesus, I don't believe it should be the only resource. I don't think we can fully understand anything the Bible is telling us until we go ahead and do it. We can tell each other that we need to love one another but you can't actually know what that means until you do it. This includes loving the people that you can't stand. We all have those people- the ones you swear God put on this earth just to test you. Guess what? He probably is. How many of us would pass this test?
I guess in order to sum up what I am trying to get at is that while I appreciate when I talk to someone about my faith and they are able to bring up specific quotes and passages, I find so much more value in hearing testimonies about how people put their faith to work. Anyone could read and be knowledgeable about the Bible. It takes a real Christian in order to act it out and say "I know about love, because I love people every single day."
And in that same way, it is impossible to understand love until you wholeheartedly love someone else.
Even after the experience, Faith and love can remain a mystery... but at least this way, you can take pride in knowing you dove into the experience, instead of letting it pass you by.
~Bridget Nicole
I had been thinking for a bit about how people handle their faith. We all know the type of believer where they can rattle off any verse of the Bible and can completely quote whole paragraphs, so on and so forth. But really... isn't that only, like, 10% of it? Don't get me wrong, I still plan on reading the Bible and studying what it has to teach me. But how important is that part? Hear me out for a second, here:
Example. There have been many, many, studies done on love. There are a million definitions that people can give on what love really means, or what it is to be in love. Can you see love? No. You can see people acting out of love, but love itself is not visible. One can study all they want about what someone feels when they are in love. What hormones and neurotransmitters are released when people feel things associated with love. But all the studying in the world doesn't compare to actually feeling love for someone else. You can't understand it until you go ahead and feel it. Simply put, nothing compares. There is no fully accurate way to describe what someone feels when they first realize that they completely adore every little thing about someone else and that there is no other person on this planet that they would rather spend their time thinking about. There is no perfect way to sum up what it feels like to know that you could spend the rest of your life with one single person and never look back. Which is why people search so desperately for it- it's such an amazing thing.
Relate all this back to Faith. People have tried to scientifically pinpoint how humans handle Faith. They have tried labeling certain parts of the brain that help humans process what they call to be a belief in a higher deity. People read the Bible in order to learn what Jesus wanted us to know and memorize it so that they can defend their beliefs and not forget anything they would need to know from it that could be valuable. While the Bible is a great tool in following Jesus, I don't believe it should be the only resource. I don't think we can fully understand anything the Bible is telling us until we go ahead and do it. We can tell each other that we need to love one another but you can't actually know what that means until you do it. This includes loving the people that you can't stand. We all have those people- the ones you swear God put on this earth just to test you. Guess what? He probably is. How many of us would pass this test?
I guess in order to sum up what I am trying to get at is that while I appreciate when I talk to someone about my faith and they are able to bring up specific quotes and passages, I find so much more value in hearing testimonies about how people put their faith to work. Anyone could read and be knowledgeable about the Bible. It takes a real Christian in order to act it out and say "I know about love, because I love people every single day."
And in that same way, it is impossible to understand love until you wholeheartedly love someone else.
Even after the experience, Faith and love can remain a mystery... but at least this way, you can take pride in knowing you dove into the experience, instead of letting it pass you by.
~Bridget Nicole
Sunday, May 8, 2011
In the "Ready Stance"!
Ok, lets not hold our breath on this, but I think I might just be getting better about posting on this thing regularly! Better than any diary I ever had, anyway. I was never very good about updating those.
I have been doing research on my career. I was headed the direction of technical writing for a long while, because it seemed like something I would like to do. Technical writers normally have a second degree in some sort of science though. So, since I don't plan on going back to school right away, I think that will be a plan B. Lately, I have been looking at editing more closely. I really enjoy the premise of the job and the places I have looked at claim that there is a higher need for editors because of all the different places they can be used (publishing houses, anywhere that handles legal documents, law firms, etc). I just have to look into what sort of places are currently looking for editors, to see if I can get a good idea of what location I should be headed to.
As of late I have been becoming more and more excited about the future, and seeing it as a little less daunting. I used to have the feeling of "oh no, I have to grow up sometime soon and figure out what I want to do with my life. It's time to put on my big girl panties." But really, I have been becoming more and more excited about doing things for myself. Before, I hated having to work. Now, I will work two jobs if I have to in order to save up the amount I need in order to make a down payment on a car. This way, I can set up more for my future. I am taking more initiative with my scheduling, money spending/saving, and time usage.
In short, I am feeling a lot better about having to step out into the "real world" in a year. I am determined to not let it knock me off my feet.
I named this entry "In the 'Ready Stance'!" because I thought about how when I played softball, I would get stuck in the outfield. They always taught use to be in the Ready Stance so that we could run whichever way we needed to in order to catch the ball that came flying at us. I kind of feel like that is what my mental state has been like lately. I am ready to run whichever direction I need to in order to handle the curve balls life can sometimes throw at you.
(Legs forward. Knees shoulder width apart. On the balls of your feet. Torso slightly forward. Catching hand ready. The other hand provides balance.)
Are you in the Ready Stance?
~Bridget Nicole
I have been doing research on my career. I was headed the direction of technical writing for a long while, because it seemed like something I would like to do. Technical writers normally have a second degree in some sort of science though. So, since I don't plan on going back to school right away, I think that will be a plan B. Lately, I have been looking at editing more closely. I really enjoy the premise of the job and the places I have looked at claim that there is a higher need for editors because of all the different places they can be used (publishing houses, anywhere that handles legal documents, law firms, etc). I just have to look into what sort of places are currently looking for editors, to see if I can get a good idea of what location I should be headed to.
As of late I have been becoming more and more excited about the future, and seeing it as a little less daunting. I used to have the feeling of "oh no, I have to grow up sometime soon and figure out what I want to do with my life. It's time to put on my big girl panties." But really, I have been becoming more and more excited about doing things for myself. Before, I hated having to work. Now, I will work two jobs if I have to in order to save up the amount I need in order to make a down payment on a car. This way, I can set up more for my future. I am taking more initiative with my scheduling, money spending/saving, and time usage.
In short, I am feeling a lot better about having to step out into the "real world" in a year. I am determined to not let it knock me off my feet.
I named this entry "In the 'Ready Stance'!" because I thought about how when I played softball, I would get stuck in the outfield. They always taught use to be in the Ready Stance so that we could run whichever way we needed to in order to catch the ball that came flying at us. I kind of feel like that is what my mental state has been like lately. I am ready to run whichever direction I need to in order to handle the curve balls life can sometimes throw at you.
(Legs forward. Knees shoulder width apart. On the balls of your feet. Torso slightly forward. Catching hand ready. The other hand provides balance.)
Are you in the Ready Stance?
~Bridget Nicole
Saturday, May 7, 2011
One Week
I roughly have a week before I get to adjust to Northern life again :)
The past two days have been full of packing and yard sale-ing. We have made enough for the moving truck and the gas for both the truck and dad's car. I have been so tired lately! But, its good because lately I have been tired enough to actually go to bed at a decent time. I went to bed at 11 Thursday night and 10 last night. Which is way better than what I was doing for the school year!
What was left over from the yard sale we gave to the Union Mission. Which, ironically enough, they were not very nice people that we ran into. Apparently there is a list of things they wont take- including things like a golf bag. Who knew, right? They claimed to have a list of what they couldn't accept, and when I asked my brother about it he told me "yeah I happened to look inside the loading dock and right around the corner there was a list on the wall." Well... they should put it on the outside of the wall, I think. Anywho.
I am so tempted to take another nap but I really need to get on some sort of better sleeping schedule. I am not sure which I should do.
Oh and PS- made straight B's this semester. I guess that's what I get for consciously making the goal of straight A's! :P
~Bridget Nicole
The past two days have been full of packing and yard sale-ing. We have made enough for the moving truck and the gas for both the truck and dad's car. I have been so tired lately! But, its good because lately I have been tired enough to actually go to bed at a decent time. I went to bed at 11 Thursday night and 10 last night. Which is way better than what I was doing for the school year!
What was left over from the yard sale we gave to the Union Mission. Which, ironically enough, they were not very nice people that we ran into. Apparently there is a list of things they wont take- including things like a golf bag. Who knew, right? They claimed to have a list of what they couldn't accept, and when I asked my brother about it he told me "yeah I happened to look inside the loading dock and right around the corner there was a list on the wall." Well... they should put it on the outside of the wall, I think. Anywho.
I am so tempted to take another nap but I really need to get on some sort of better sleeping schedule. I am not sure which I should do.
Oh and PS- made straight B's this semester. I guess that's what I get for consciously making the goal of straight A's! :P
~Bridget Nicole
Monday, May 2, 2011
Long time no... read! (But here's a video!)
So, it has been far too long since my last post. Its been a pretty busy end of the semester, but thankfully it will be all over with after my exam at three. Then its just packing and going home!
Then its yard sale, packing packing packing, and then going to my new home. :D I am quite excited about this, have been waiting for it for about a year now. I am looking forward to the summers not being quite as hot.
In a different area I am pleased to say that with my soon-to-be free-er schedule, I will have more time to write. I am thinking I will be posting some of my more creative work on here just to get everyone's opinion. This will hopefully include poems, clips of short stories, and ideas that I want to bounce off people. Oh, and I am DETERMINED to finish my novel. Its so gonna happen! And what would b REALLY awesome was if I could post on here once a day. Lets see how that goes, shall we?
In the meantime:
Then its yard sale, packing packing packing, and then going to my new home. :D I am quite excited about this, have been waiting for it for about a year now. I am looking forward to the summers not being quite as hot.
In a different area I am pleased to say that with my soon-to-be free-er schedule, I will have more time to write. I am thinking I will be posting some of my more creative work on here just to get everyone's opinion. This will hopefully include poems, clips of short stories, and ideas that I want to bounce off people. Oh, and I am DETERMINED to finish my novel. Its so gonna happen! And what would b REALLY awesome was if I could post on here once a day. Lets see how that goes, shall we?
In the meantime:
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Some of God's Greatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers
I wanted to take a moment today to share my waking thoughts from this morning with everyone.
God works in mysterious ways. During hard times most people pray about literally everything that they may need. And for me, luckily, a lot of those prayers have been answered with blessings. Good things have been happening in my life lately. Such as:
Long-ish story short, I have been trying to figure out where I stand with this and praying to God to send me some sort of sign or just help make things clearer to me. And honestly, I only hear white noise on this subject. I am left wondering why of all things God would chose this to fall silent. I have been needing to keep in mind that he knows all about the future and what is to come for me, but it makes me wonder what it is and why he won't even give me a hint in this area, even though everything else in my life is playing out.
Which, knowing me... this is just God's way of saying: "Have a little trust in me, good things come to those who wait."
This song kind of sums it up for me. Plus its just fun to sing. Enjoy!
God works in mysterious ways. During hard times most people pray about literally everything that they may need. And for me, luckily, a lot of those prayers have been answered with blessings. Good things have been happening in my life lately. Such as:
- My dad has been on unemployment for a while now and has been having a hard time finding a job lately. However, he got a job offer in NY (where we will be moving to) which although isn't as high of pay as he would like, will give him some of the benefits he needs for medical and dental. Plus its pretty similar to other work he has done so he would be familiar with the work. I was absolutely ecstatic when he called and told me about it.
- I myself may have a job for when I move up. My mom knows someone whose dad owns a movie theater and they need help there so I don't know how much I will be working or what the pay is like, but at least I will be able to start working right away. I really really really need to save up for a car.
- My writing is taking off again. I am getting more inspiration and especially now that school is winding down (which is a blessing in itself), I have more opportunities to write. I am pretty excited about the turns my writing is taking, and getting more excited about the fact that I am getting into short stories more. They are beginning to grow on me!
- I got the classes I wanted for next semester and am thrilled about how the schedule worked out. I will be taking all my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and will have the rest of the week available for me to work and make money. Plus I have awesome classes :)
Long-ish story short, I have been trying to figure out where I stand with this and praying to God to send me some sort of sign or just help make things clearer to me. And honestly, I only hear white noise on this subject. I am left wondering why of all things God would chose this to fall silent. I have been needing to keep in mind that he knows all about the future and what is to come for me, but it makes me wonder what it is and why he won't even give me a hint in this area, even though everything else in my life is playing out.
Which, knowing me... this is just God's way of saying: "Have a little trust in me, good things come to those who wait."
This song kind of sums it up for me. Plus its just fun to sing. Enjoy!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Universal Truth
Universal truth is a topic that came up in my literary theory class today. Its a topic that manages to come up a lot in my life- I look at how different people are and different experiences and wonder how in the world something like universal truth is even possible. I googled truth and here is what I came up with:
truth
"That in accordance with fact or reality". Now that's a slippery slope. I believe personal truth- not the kind where you think a certain thing about yourself- but the kind where because of certain things a person experienced, something can be true to them and not to someone else who went through something completely different. For example most people when they think of divorce they think of it as something horrible and traumatic. This (I think, anyways) tends to be what the majority would think. Others however have been through horrible relationships (either the children witness it, or either the husband or wife become abusive, etc.) and see divorce (or the availability of one) as a blessing. Therefore its hard to say as a fact that all divorces are traumatic and saddening. This would be why ever idea you encounter has a gray area.
Another subject that this applies (and I do apologize if this steps on anyone's toes) is the idea of there being different religions or, denominations within Christianity, specifically. It is impossible for anyone to know that what they are doing and what God/denomination they are following is the right thing. Because the fact is, people don't know until they die. Faith is a completely different thing. As Christians we are taught to have faith and put our heart into believing that we are doing the right thing and that is what keeps you hanging on to whatever it is that you do believe. I myself am a Christian and my faith is pretty strong, but I am also at peace with the fact that I cannot possibly know what is in store for me right now, because I am only human and cannot see into the future. Many denominations are ready to damn someone else to hell just because they believe something slightly different- they tell them they are wrong. But how do they know they are absolutely right themselves? As far as knowing for a fact if we're doing the right thing or not, that answer comes later in life. Orrr... your afterlife.
The third definition hints toward what I have been getting at. Society, or some group of people, have to accept something in order for it to be seen as true. A guy in my class used the example of the sky being blue- most people just accept it as a fact- but he was color blind for the first part of his life and for some time he didn't know it was blue. So to him, he didn't embrace this truth because he knew first hand that the sky can be something other than blue. Every society/group has their own truths that they follow. This usually mean that they truths they follow are not the same from group to group. So how is universal truth possible?
Now, I happened to stumble upon this website that has its list of Universal Truths and I would have posted it in the blog but it was too long. Its mostly humorous, but there is a lot of truth to them I found. Enjoy!
http://truths.omniseek.com/list.html
So readers- did I confuse anyone that read this? I hope not but comments and thoughts are always appreciated.
~Bridget Nicole
truth
- The quality or state of being true
- That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality
- A fact or belief that is accepted as true
"That in accordance with fact or reality". Now that's a slippery slope. I believe personal truth- not the kind where you think a certain thing about yourself- but the kind where because of certain things a person experienced, something can be true to them and not to someone else who went through something completely different. For example most people when they think of divorce they think of it as something horrible and traumatic. This (I think, anyways) tends to be what the majority would think. Others however have been through horrible relationships (either the children witness it, or either the husband or wife become abusive, etc.) and see divorce (or the availability of one) as a blessing. Therefore its hard to say as a fact that all divorces are traumatic and saddening. This would be why ever idea you encounter has a gray area.
Another subject that this applies (and I do apologize if this steps on anyone's toes) is the idea of there being different religions or, denominations within Christianity, specifically. It is impossible for anyone to know that what they are doing and what God/denomination they are following is the right thing. Because the fact is, people don't know until they die. Faith is a completely different thing. As Christians we are taught to have faith and put our heart into believing that we are doing the right thing and that is what keeps you hanging on to whatever it is that you do believe. I myself am a Christian and my faith is pretty strong, but I am also at peace with the fact that I cannot possibly know what is in store for me right now, because I am only human and cannot see into the future. Many denominations are ready to damn someone else to hell just because they believe something slightly different- they tell them they are wrong. But how do they know they are absolutely right themselves? As far as knowing for a fact if we're doing the right thing or not, that answer comes later in life. Orrr... your afterlife.
The third definition hints toward what I have been getting at. Society, or some group of people, have to accept something in order for it to be seen as true. A guy in my class used the example of the sky being blue- most people just accept it as a fact- but he was color blind for the first part of his life and for some time he didn't know it was blue. So to him, he didn't embrace this truth because he knew first hand that the sky can be something other than blue. Every society/group has their own truths that they follow. This usually mean that they truths they follow are not the same from group to group. So how is universal truth possible?
Now, I happened to stumble upon this website that has its list of Universal Truths and I would have posted it in the blog but it was too long. Its mostly humorous, but there is a lot of truth to them I found. Enjoy!
http://truths.omniseek.com/list.html
So readers- did I confuse anyone that read this? I hope not but comments and thoughts are always appreciated.
~Bridget Nicole
Saturday, April 9, 2011
And then... Precipitation.
Pauses in the air
Hushed in anticipation
This feeling seems to grow
And then, precipitation.
Thoughts and feelings drop
Surrounding and encircling
This downward spiral
Is only the beginning.
The drums in my heart
Beat fast, oh so fast,
Try to steady all breath
Until this thing is passed.
There is no making sense
Of severe confusion
And this is only
Half of the illusion.
Try to convince the powers that be
It is something not deserved
However the relief
Is nothing if not reserved.
A break in the cycle
A chance to break away
Invites the quiet
To remain for the day.
Pauses in the air,
Hushed in anticipation
This feeling will grow
And then... precipitation.
Hushed in anticipation
This feeling seems to grow
And then, precipitation.
Thoughts and feelings drop
Surrounding and encircling
This downward spiral
Is only the beginning.
The drums in my heart
Beat fast, oh so fast,
Try to steady all breath
Until this thing is passed.
There is no making sense
Of severe confusion
And this is only
Half of the illusion.
Try to convince the powers that be
It is something not deserved
However the relief
Is nothing if not reserved.
A break in the cycle
A chance to break away
Invites the quiet
To remain for the day.
Pauses in the air,
Hushed in anticipation
This feeling will grow
And then... precipitation.
Friday, April 8, 2011
What in the world?!
Ok I happened to see some statuses about a "government shutdown". So I decided to look it up and found this:
"Congress would force a government shutdown on April 8, 2011 if their plan to reduce the U.S. federal budget deficit is not resolved[1]. This could leave 800,000 furloughed workers without a job, out of 2 million civilian federal employees and leaving the US Military without pay until a CR is passed.[2][3] President Obama emerged from an Oval Office meeting with Congressional leaders on Wednesday night with no breakthrough on the budget stalemate, but he said the 90-minute discussion had helped to “narrow the issues” that are outstanding. This also is caused by a great debate over funding Planned Parenthood. Some have claimed that Planned parenthood performs abortions, contravening existing law which prohibits the use of federally allocated monies for abortion services. [4] Planned Parenthood also provides essential medical services, e.g. cancer screenings and testing for sexually transmitted diseases. [5] Federal agencies are already beginning preparations for potential closures."
People are given "a temporary leave of absence" from their jobs. These people are not getting paid. I can't even believe that something like this exists- all because people cannot get their acts together. People are suffering in an already tough time. So how long are we supposed to wait for people to get their act together? In the past according to the Washington Post, they have lasted anywhere from eight to seventeen full days.
Anyone who works for the government or for public health still work. Mostly without pay. Also from the Washington Post:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/federal-eye/2011/02/government_shutdown_facts_and.html
How have shutdowns impacted the general public?
The suspension of various government service impacted Americans in several ways during the 1995 and 1996 shutdowns, according to CRS:
• Health: The National Institutes of Health couldn't accept new patients for clinical research and didn't answer hotline calls regarding diseases. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stopped disease surveillance and toxic waste cleanup projects at 609 sites were reported stopped, causing the furlough of 2,400 Superfund workers.
• Law Enforcement and Public Safety: The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms delayed the processing of alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and explosives applications. Work on more than 3,500 bankruptcy cases reportedly was suspended. The U.S. Border Patrol canceled the recruitment and hiring of 400 new agents and various delinquent child-support cases were delayed.
• Parks, Museums, and Monuments: The National Park Service shuttered 368 sites, resulting in the loss of about 7 million visitors and revenues to local communities. The closure of national monuments and other museums resulted in the loss of about 2 million visitors.
• Visas and Passports: Up to 30,000 applications by foreigners
for visas went unprocessed each day and 200,000 applications for U.S. passports went unanswered. Both moves resulted in millions of dollars in losses for tourism-dependent industries and U.S. airlines.
• Military veterans: Health, welfare, financial and travel services for veterans were curtailed.
• Federal contracts: Of the $18 billion in contracts in the Washington region, about 20 percent -- or $3.7 billion -- was impacted.
Some people need to get their act together!!!!!
What's your opinion?
~Bridget Nicole
"Congress would force a government shutdown on April 8, 2011 if their plan to reduce the U.S. federal budget deficit is not resolved[1]. This could leave 800,000 furloughed workers without a job, out of 2 million civilian federal employees and leaving the US Military without pay until a CR is passed.[2][3] President Obama emerged from an Oval Office meeting with Congressional leaders on Wednesday night with no breakthrough on the budget stalemate, but he said the 90-minute discussion had helped to “narrow the issues” that are outstanding. This also is caused by a great debate over funding Planned Parenthood. Some have claimed that Planned parenthood performs abortions, contravening existing law which prohibits the use of federally allocated monies for abortion services. [4] Planned Parenthood also provides essential medical services, e.g. cancer screenings and testing for sexually transmitted diseases. [5] Federal agencies are already beginning preparations for potential closures."
People are given "a temporary leave of absence" from their jobs. These people are not getting paid. I can't even believe that something like this exists- all because people cannot get their acts together. People are suffering in an already tough time. So how long are we supposed to wait for people to get their act together? In the past according to the Washington Post, they have lasted anywhere from eight to seventeen full days.
Anyone who works for the government or for public health still work. Mostly without pay. Also from the Washington Post:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/federal-eye/2011/02/government_shutdown_facts_and.html
How have shutdowns impacted the general public?
The suspension of various government service impacted Americans in several ways during the 1995 and 1996 shutdowns, according to CRS:
• Health: The National Institutes of Health couldn't accept new patients for clinical research and didn't answer hotline calls regarding diseases. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stopped disease surveillance and toxic waste cleanup projects at 609 sites were reported stopped, causing the furlough of 2,400 Superfund workers.
• Law Enforcement and Public Safety: The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms delayed the processing of alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and explosives applications. Work on more than 3,500 bankruptcy cases reportedly was suspended. The U.S. Border Patrol canceled the recruitment and hiring of 400 new agents and various delinquent child-support cases were delayed.
• Parks, Museums, and Monuments: The National Park Service shuttered 368 sites, resulting in the loss of about 7 million visitors and revenues to local communities. The closure of national monuments and other museums resulted in the loss of about 2 million visitors.
• Visas and Passports: Up to 30,000 applications by foreigners
for visas went unprocessed each day and 200,000 applications for U.S. passports went unanswered. Both moves resulted in millions of dollars in losses for tourism-dependent industries and U.S. airlines.
• Military veterans: Health, welfare, financial and travel services for veterans were curtailed.
• Federal contracts: Of the $18 billion in contracts in the Washington region, about 20 percent -- or $3.7 billion -- was impacted.
Some people need to get their act together!!!!!
What's your opinion?
~Bridget Nicole
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Secondhand Habits
Today I want to mention secondhand smoke. Not as many people think about the dangers of this compared to the dangers of first hand smoke. Here is a website about the problems with secondhand smoke:
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancercauses/tobaccocancer/secondhand-smoke
Besides any of the physical effects, its just rude in some cases. While I was on my way to get lunch a guy was walking in front of me and I said "excuse me" in order to get past him. As I walked past, he blew smoke from his cigarette in my face. He might have thought it was funny, but just because he is smoking and shaving years off his life, doesn't mean I want to also. I would start smoking myself if I wanted to do that.
Now I don't like telling people what to do, because what they do with their life is their own choice, so if they want to smoke its up to them. However I think the e cigarette is an amazing idea. There are no problems with secondhand smoke and there are no smells from it. Also, there are less carcinogens in the e cigarettes, so they are also less harmful to those using it. Here are some websites to tell you about those:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-cigarette
http://www.ecigaretteschoice.com/
I myself know its hard to fight addictions. I will admit I am addicted to soda. I don't think its a caffiene issue because I can drink either. I have tried to stop drinking it a couple times now and I can't seem to stop!
So what are you guys addicted to?
~Bridget Nicole
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancercauses/tobaccocancer/secondhand-smoke
Besides any of the physical effects, its just rude in some cases. While I was on my way to get lunch a guy was walking in front of me and I said "excuse me" in order to get past him. As I walked past, he blew smoke from his cigarette in my face. He might have thought it was funny, but just because he is smoking and shaving years off his life, doesn't mean I want to also. I would start smoking myself if I wanted to do that.
Now I don't like telling people what to do, because what they do with their life is their own choice, so if they want to smoke its up to them. However I think the e cigarette is an amazing idea. There are no problems with secondhand smoke and there are no smells from it. Also, there are less carcinogens in the e cigarettes, so they are also less harmful to those using it. Here are some websites to tell you about those:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-cigarette
http://www.ecigaretteschoice.com/
I myself know its hard to fight addictions. I will admit I am addicted to soda. I don't think its a caffiene issue because I can drink either. I have tried to stop drinking it a couple times now and I can't seem to stop!
So what are you guys addicted to?
~Bridget Nicole
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"White Houses"
I can't get this song out of my head lately. Probably with good reason!
So the challenge for today has been mapping out my future. I planned out my classes for my senior year (which the schedule came out great!) and have been researching what I want to do with my English degree. The choices (I think...) have been narrowed down to technical writing, creating writing, advertising, and novel writing. Novel writing will probably happen later when I am financially secure, but its still something I would like to do.
I don't know which direction to go. Its all so overwhelming!!!
So what do you guys want to be when you grow up?
~Bridget Nicole
So the challenge for today has been mapping out my future. I planned out my classes for my senior year (which the schedule came out great!) and have been researching what I want to do with my English degree. The choices (I think...) have been narrowed down to technical writing, creating writing, advertising, and novel writing. Novel writing will probably happen later when I am financially secure, but its still something I would like to do.
I don't know which direction to go. Its all so overwhelming!!!
So what do you guys want to be when you grow up?
~Bridget Nicole
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Inspiration
Do you ever have a day or a moment in your life that just inspires you to get your life back together and make it better than it's ever been? I have been having a day like that today. There have been a lot of depressing things going on at the moment but I am deciding to rise above it and take my life back.
One thing that I have been battling with has been anxiety. Although this hasn't technically been a recent problem, as it turns out I have had some symptoms for years now, I have learned that I can do more to help myself with it.
I have recently started going to therapy through my University, and also have started biofeedback therapy. Biofeedback therapy is one where you work with a computer program and hook up sensors to three on your fingers. Meanwhile, I sit in a comfortable chair and go step by step through the program. The main goals are to help me "gently" relax myself and bring myself back to the present moment, and away from any of my worries- regardless if they are legit stressful thoughts or not. I say gentle with air quotes because anxiety often feeds off of itself- one of the main things that sets it apart from stress. If you argue with yourself and "force yourself to calm down", then you only get into a vicious cycle.There is a lot of meditation involved and deep breathing. As you go through the program the screen (in various ways) is able to visually show you what your body is doing and based on your level of stress, you are informed as to how it physically affects you. I am not sure how much it is helping me right now, but I have decided that I am going to do more in order to ensure something helps me. I can practice my techniques, learn my mantras, and apply them to stressful situations. And if this turns out to not help, then I will have to talk to my doctor about medication. But either way, I am determined to free my mind of the illogical chains of anxiety.
Another thing that I have to change is my motivation. This anxiety can be paralyzing to me at times, particularly when I have a large to do list. I am thinking there is a large correlation between my levels and anxiety and my quality of work. I will be lucky to get any A's this semester. The only problem is, my classes are not that hard. Its all stuff that I normally should be able to do pretty easily. So, I need to ramp up my school work and spend more time making sure I am absorbing everything and doing well, especially since my finals will be in about a month. EEEEEEK!
I love to write. (As you can tell by the way I am blabbering on ;) ) I have a fiction novel that I have been working on for the past two years. Only, I haven't really touched it much this year. Which, since I am devoting more time to my studies and my classes, means I will be doing a TON of writing over this summer. Which brings me to my next point.
Money- money, money, money. Life seems to revolve around that greens stuff it seems. I am determined to save up enough money in order to buy a car this summer. While I would love to be able to buy a new one and just make payments on it... I know that won't be very feasible. I will more than likely buy a used one that isn't labeled as a "fixer-upper". This way I will not have to put more money into fixing it than its worth. I am pretty excited about this though. This means it will also be a lot easier for me to work next school year. I have a lot going on, if you can't tell!
Lastly... I have become more inspired to believe in myself more. I recently read in my Behavioral Psychology textbook about this thing called Rational-emotive therapy that sounds like it can be really useful. Basically, people begin to have certain responses to incidents and it sets up how a person can view themselves or a situation. For example, I come home with an F, and my mom lectures me about how important it is to get good grades and acts very disappointed with me. This leads me to believe from then on that I am only going to make them proud by making A's, to the point that it changes my views, and makes it in my mind so that I have to get an A, otherwise I would be useless. They call these maladaptive beliefs. I myself have to challenge these beliefs. I sometimes feel like I am only good if I do certain things, or don't do certain things. If I do these things, then there will be dire consequences. For example... I believe that if I stand up too much to a friend or significant other, they will without a doubt want nothing to do with me. And that too can be crippling. I need to start understanding that I have a lot of worth and that I deserve certain things.
This post is labeled inspiration because my friends have inspired this change in me. I have a lot of potential. Its about time I take off with it! Sorry the post is so long, guys and gals! I will post a video. :)
The one I am not doing is not as advanced but its the same general idea.
So readers: is there anything irrational that stresses you guys out?
~Bridget Nicole
One thing that I have been battling with has been anxiety. Although this hasn't technically been a recent problem, as it turns out I have had some symptoms for years now, I have learned that I can do more to help myself with it.
I have recently started going to therapy through my University, and also have started biofeedback therapy. Biofeedback therapy is one where you work with a computer program and hook up sensors to three on your fingers. Meanwhile, I sit in a comfortable chair and go step by step through the program. The main goals are to help me "gently" relax myself and bring myself back to the present moment, and away from any of my worries- regardless if they are legit stressful thoughts or not. I say gentle with air quotes because anxiety often feeds off of itself- one of the main things that sets it apart from stress. If you argue with yourself and "force yourself to calm down", then you only get into a vicious cycle.There is a lot of meditation involved and deep breathing. As you go through the program the screen (in various ways) is able to visually show you what your body is doing and based on your level of stress, you are informed as to how it physically affects you. I am not sure how much it is helping me right now, but I have decided that I am going to do more in order to ensure something helps me. I can practice my techniques, learn my mantras, and apply them to stressful situations. And if this turns out to not help, then I will have to talk to my doctor about medication. But either way, I am determined to free my mind of the illogical chains of anxiety.
Another thing that I have to change is my motivation. This anxiety can be paralyzing to me at times, particularly when I have a large to do list. I am thinking there is a large correlation between my levels and anxiety and my quality of work. I will be lucky to get any A's this semester. The only problem is, my classes are not that hard. Its all stuff that I normally should be able to do pretty easily. So, I need to ramp up my school work and spend more time making sure I am absorbing everything and doing well, especially since my finals will be in about a month. EEEEEEK!
I love to write. (As you can tell by the way I am blabbering on ;) ) I have a fiction novel that I have been working on for the past two years. Only, I haven't really touched it much this year. Which, since I am devoting more time to my studies and my classes, means I will be doing a TON of writing over this summer. Which brings me to my next point.
Money- money, money, money. Life seems to revolve around that greens stuff it seems. I am determined to save up enough money in order to buy a car this summer. While I would love to be able to buy a new one and just make payments on it... I know that won't be very feasible. I will more than likely buy a used one that isn't labeled as a "fixer-upper". This way I will not have to put more money into fixing it than its worth. I am pretty excited about this though. This means it will also be a lot easier for me to work next school year. I have a lot going on, if you can't tell!
Lastly... I have become more inspired to believe in myself more. I recently read in my Behavioral Psychology textbook about this thing called Rational-emotive therapy that sounds like it can be really useful. Basically, people begin to have certain responses to incidents and it sets up how a person can view themselves or a situation. For example, I come home with an F, and my mom lectures me about how important it is to get good grades and acts very disappointed with me. This leads me to believe from then on that I am only going to make them proud by making A's, to the point that it changes my views, and makes it in my mind so that I have to get an A, otherwise I would be useless. They call these maladaptive beliefs. I myself have to challenge these beliefs. I sometimes feel like I am only good if I do certain things, or don't do certain things. If I do these things, then there will be dire consequences. For example... I believe that if I stand up too much to a friend or significant other, they will without a doubt want nothing to do with me. And that too can be crippling. I need to start understanding that I have a lot of worth and that I deserve certain things.
This post is labeled inspiration because my friends have inspired this change in me. I have a lot of potential. Its about time I take off with it! Sorry the post is so long, guys and gals! I will post a video. :)
The one I am not doing is not as advanced but its the same general idea.
So readers: is there anything irrational that stresses you guys out?
~Bridget Nicole
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
All my single ladies!
I got the song stuck in my head so I figured I would just go with it and write about single women. :)
I want to say this first: Girls, if you are single, whether it is through choice or through not having much luck, take the time to embrace this. You really need this time in order to become solid in who you are as an individual. Have a strong understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and know what you want to be better at before you get into something. Its a lot harder to do these things once you get into a relationship because you have another person's view of you already in place. They see you as a certain way. Also, assuming they are committed to you, will love you no matter what, and love can be blinding. I would really suggest taking this time to make sure that anything they could turn a blind eye to is something trivial, like biting your nails! ;)
For those who are just getting out of a relationship: I know how much it sucks. I have been there before. However, keep this in mind- you're no longer in it for a reason. Either the other person isn't who you thought you were, they did something to hurt you, or anything else you can think of. But if these things happened, then you don't need to put up with it. If anything, it should show you that you're better than your situation.
Making it widely known that you're single is also just going to scare guys. Honestly, if a guy were to look at a girl and she has "PICK ME! PICK ME!" written all over her, it sends off a message that you're extremely desperate. It says "I don't care who you are or if we're compatible, I just don't want to be single anymore." Do you really want to give a potential significant other that message? Same goes for those who are "overly ready" to get married and settle down. This makes others believe that if they get into a relationship with you, they would have to go that far with you if they wanted to be with you, or risk severely hurting you. Most of us want to get married and settle down, but you need to let things run its course.
*Insert chirping voice coming from the back of the room* But Bridget, you're in a relationship now- how can you say any of this?
Glad you asked, chirping voice!
I am currently in a relationship but I have learned that pushing things just because it seemed like the "next step" or "the thing to do" because I had to learn the hard way (through break ups and nasty fights) that things need to naturally run its course. If someone wants to settle down with you and stay with you, then that's great. But forcing this won't help your situation any.
And if you're not with someone at the moment, that just means you haven't found the one for you yet. Take this time to just enjoy being you, instead of part of a team.
Trust me, you and future relationship(s) will thank me for it!
~Bridget Nicole
PS: Enjoy :)
I want to say this first: Girls, if you are single, whether it is through choice or through not having much luck, take the time to embrace this. You really need this time in order to become solid in who you are as an individual. Have a strong understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and know what you want to be better at before you get into something. Its a lot harder to do these things once you get into a relationship because you have another person's view of you already in place. They see you as a certain way. Also, assuming they are committed to you, will love you no matter what, and love can be blinding. I would really suggest taking this time to make sure that anything they could turn a blind eye to is something trivial, like biting your nails! ;)
For those who are just getting out of a relationship: I know how much it sucks. I have been there before. However, keep this in mind- you're no longer in it for a reason. Either the other person isn't who you thought you were, they did something to hurt you, or anything else you can think of. But if these things happened, then you don't need to put up with it. If anything, it should show you that you're better than your situation.
Making it widely known that you're single is also just going to scare guys. Honestly, if a guy were to look at a girl and she has "PICK ME! PICK ME!" written all over her, it sends off a message that you're extremely desperate. It says "I don't care who you are or if we're compatible, I just don't want to be single anymore." Do you really want to give a potential significant other that message? Same goes for those who are "overly ready" to get married and settle down. This makes others believe that if they get into a relationship with you, they would have to go that far with you if they wanted to be with you, or risk severely hurting you. Most of us want to get married and settle down, but you need to let things run its course.
*Insert chirping voice coming from the back of the room* But Bridget, you're in a relationship now- how can you say any of this?
Glad you asked, chirping voice!
I am currently in a relationship but I have learned that pushing things just because it seemed like the "next step" or "the thing to do" because I had to learn the hard way (through break ups and nasty fights) that things need to naturally run its course. If someone wants to settle down with you and stay with you, then that's great. But forcing this won't help your situation any.
And if you're not with someone at the moment, that just means you haven't found the one for you yet. Take this time to just enjoy being you, instead of part of a team.
Trust me, you and future relationship(s) will thank me for it!
~Bridget Nicole
PS: Enjoy :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Free time+YouTube=This!
So I came across this video while I was looking around YouTube. Hmmm. When I typed in YouTube, the little red dots showed up underneath to show that I was spelling something wrong... tsk tsk. My spell check has no idea how important YouTube is to our society. That's a shame. Anyways!
After watching this video I realized that it would be so much fun to just walk around, going about my daily business and film it all. Oh, and make sure to add commentary.
Question for my readers: If you could videotape yourself doing something random and give commentary on it, what would it be and why?
~Bridget Nicole
After watching this video I realized that it would be so much fun to just walk around, going about my daily business and film it all. Oh, and make sure to add commentary.
Question for my readers: If you could videotape yourself doing something random and give commentary on it, what would it be and why?
~Bridget Nicole
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Light Enveloped
Fog reaches out,
Across the vast sky.
Light enveloped by mischievous hands,
Running through their spacious yard.
While the lot lacks illumination,
The treasure shines bright.
Let the world see the beauty
That was once evasive-
Within the Cosmos
Their bodies roam free, but
You keep the prisoner captive
And have your claim.
While the clouds reach out
And find their celestial bodies.
The children perfect their skill
Of capturing elusive fireflies.
Watch as the both light up with joy
As they keep eye over their reward.
Ok so lately I have just been thinking in terms of poetry. Not sure why! I thought about this while I was riding in a car at night and it literally looked as if a cloud had reached out and grabbed a star, the same way a child would try to catch a firefly. So of course, my first reaction was "oooh, how pretty!" and voila, another poem is born. :)
~Bridget Nicole
Across the vast sky.
Light enveloped by mischievous hands,
Running through their spacious yard.
While the lot lacks illumination,
The treasure shines bright.
Let the world see the beauty
That was once evasive-
Within the Cosmos
Their bodies roam free, but
You keep the prisoner captive
And have your claim.
While the clouds reach out
And find their celestial bodies.
The children perfect their skill
Of capturing elusive fireflies.
Watch as the both light up with joy
As they keep eye over their reward.
Ok so lately I have just been thinking in terms of poetry. Not sure why! I thought about this while I was riding in a car at night and it literally looked as if a cloud had reached out and grabbed a star, the same way a child would try to catch a firefly. So of course, my first reaction was "oooh, how pretty!" and voila, another poem is born. :)
~Bridget Nicole
Drop of Water
Drop of water-- among paper
Crawls outward to escape
It isn't vain-- a
Design-- mind of its own
Walk away-- fix it later
Such odd forgetfulness...
You cannot--fix
What is already stained.
Disappointment-- follows, and
Frustration-- rises
Scrap it, rip it, repel it
Try to forget--
Always moving along-- tides
Forbidden-- thus hid
Round two
Kind words-- laced with impatience.
Episodic meltdowns.
Drop of water-- among paper
Crawls outward to escape...
I always thought water was the most interesting substance. Water will fight and move. It holds on to its container and will even climb its walls.
When I was a little kid and riding in the car when it was raining out, I would watch the rain drops on the car window. I used to pretend that the bigger rain drop was some sort of hero that picked up the smaller rain drops so they wouldn't have to be alone. They always moved faster once they were together and promoted team work in my mind. I would feel sad for the raindrops that didn't have a hero to save them. Some were definitely more shy than others. Some slowly danced along the glass and eventually tagged another drop as if to say "I want you to come and dance with me!"
I also always found it amazing that something so simple could be so vital to our existence. We are made up of it, and still manage to need a lot more of it. We are quite the water needy beings. Two hydrogen molecules and an oxygen molecules. So basic and fundamental.
On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” —John 7:37-38
~Bridget Nicole
Crawls outward to escape
It isn't vain-- a
Design-- mind of its own
Walk away-- fix it later
Such odd forgetfulness...
You cannot--fix
What is already stained.
Disappointment-- follows, and
Frustration-- rises
Scrap it, rip it, repel it
Try to forget--
Always moving along-- tides
Forbidden-- thus hid
Round two
Kind words-- laced with impatience.
Episodic meltdowns.
Drop of water-- among paper
Crawls outward to escape...
I always thought water was the most interesting substance. Water will fight and move. It holds on to its container and will even climb its walls.
When I was a little kid and riding in the car when it was raining out, I would watch the rain drops on the car window. I used to pretend that the bigger rain drop was some sort of hero that picked up the smaller rain drops so they wouldn't have to be alone. They always moved faster once they were together and promoted team work in my mind. I would feel sad for the raindrops that didn't have a hero to save them. Some were definitely more shy than others. Some slowly danced along the glass and eventually tagged another drop as if to say "I want you to come and dance with me!"
I also always found it amazing that something so simple could be so vital to our existence. We are made up of it, and still manage to need a lot more of it. We are quite the water needy beings. Two hydrogen molecules and an oxygen molecules. So basic and fundamental.
On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” —John 7:37-38
~Bridget Nicole
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