Delays and Snowflakes

On a random note: I have been watching an insane amount of Castle lately. Why? Because its AWESOME. You should watch it too. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snowflakes:

There is enough stillness that it feels like time stands still. There are no words to break the silence, its as if our minds create nothing new. I am able to take in the feel of the car- the way that the seat gives in to my weight, the coolness of the window, which is half frosted over. I brush my pinky along the pane in order to stimulate any sort of feeling. I measure out how often there is a bump in the road, which comes quicker on the highway. You always drive on the highways when you need to clear your mind. I dare not speak- I know that you don't want to hear the thoughts I have recently thought. They would only make us fight again. I cringe at the thought of raising our voices. Not just because they are unpleasant, but because they are gateways. Things that were so called settled in the past come back up and are used as brand new weapons.

I look out the window and sigh. You spare me a quick glance before taking an exit- and I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu. You find a small restaurant and you park.

"Nothing has changed, has it?" you studied you fingernails, attempting to look nonchalant.

"What do you expect? You put me in a corner and expect me to go somewhere." I lit up a cigarette and rolled the window down an inch. I had been smoking close to two packs a day- it gets worse with the stress. I couldn't help but feel like I was walking on eggshells.

"It's really not like that, babe," you started. I rolled my eyes; you know I hate it when you call me babe. You know I thought it was demeaning and sexist. "We have to put effort in it if we're going to make this work," you said as you yanked the cigarette out of my hand with such force that I jumped.

A shiver went down my spine because I recognized the tone in your voice.

Two years ago. You came home drunk, had a bad day at work. All I did was ask you how everything went. "I don't want to talk about it!" you said as you slammed his bedroom door shut. After a moment's consideration, I got up and walked over to your room and opened up the door and the next thing I knew I was seeing stars. When I came to, I had white-hot pain coming from my right eye. I shakily got up and looked in the mirror to find that my eyelids were already beginning to swell. You were no where in sight.

I looked out the window and went quiet. "I want to make this work," I heard you say. "I love you too much to let you go."

The snow began to fall outside once more and I thought about snowflakes. From a distance, to an outsider, they all look alike. But when you look closer, they all have different shapes, sizes, designs, consequences... and scars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Bridget Nicole